by Aaron Huq ’24
inspired by Plato’s Crito
[It is midnight. Aaron is sitting in their prison room. They were captured by the “writing world” police due to breaking their writer’s oath, and now is waiting for their execution that takes place in the morning. Suddenly, there are sounds of footsteps, and Iris enters the room.]
Aaron: Why did you come to see me, Iris??
Iris: Oh, mother, I have come to set you free from prison!
Aaron: Dear sweet child, please do not bother! I have told you many times, and I will tell you again, I deserve the consequences, and I shall accept my execution.
Iris: Mother! Why must you be so adamant? You were attempting to be bold, set your own path in this world of writing. Why do you wish to be executed when I can help you escape?? Come with me, dear mother, I have a ship waiting for us! We will leave this world of writing at once, and they can never find you.
Aaron: Sweet Iris, I cannot leave this world of writing, for I have taken the writer’s oath. I am bound by this oath until death. Let me explain to you how my actions go against the sacred writer’s oath.
Iris: I am listening, mother.
Aaron: Listen. The writer’s oath is such that soon after one utters it, one shall never use font styles and font sizes outside of the standard font requirements set by a professor. One shall not write in anything other than double-spacing, unless stated otherwise in the rubric. One shall NEVER plagiarize; even paraphrases from a source must be cited. I, unfortunately, confess to doing all such acts.
Iris: Oh mother, please!
Aaron: Sweet Iris, please remain calm, for there is more. Speaking of citations, the writer’s oath commands one to be consistent with using only one citation style in a paper. One must NEVER create their own citation style or create their own rules in a certain citation style. If one commits such an act, then that action is a blasphemy to the writing world.
Iris: You are not wrong, mother…
Aaron: Yes, sweet child. One who has taken the writer’s oath, is obligated to produce an academic paper with a concise thesis statement stated at the beginning of one’s paper, a well-structured body with evidence that support the thesis statement, and a conclusion that is not merely a summary of one’s paper. One is obligated to use a title for one’s paper that is not merely “Paper 1” or “Final Paper.” I unfortunately, have committed all these acts.
Iris: But mother, there must be a way… I cannot bear your death! For who will feed me, clean my litter box, and give belly rubs until I decide to bite???
Aaron: Sweet Iris, as much as it hurts my heart to say, you must find a new human being. For I have also committed the act of using artificial intelligence when syllabus policies advised heavily against it. I wanted to live life freely, and I have done so through these acts of rebellion. But now, I must pay reverence to the writer’s oath and the world of writing, and I must accept my fate.
Iris: I see… I have nothing to object…
Aaron: My child, I apologize. I give you my blessing that you find a new, caring parent. Truth be told, your bites hurt quite a bit! I do look forward to escaping that part.
Iris: meow…